Reunions Made Easy
When going to pick up your best friend from Vegas whom you haven’t seen in something like 2 years (maybe more?) …there are a few things to keep in mind.
1. You haven’t changed. The $120 you had to borrow to get there is evidence.
2. She hasn’t changed. She needs you to use your borrowed $120 to come get her.
3. The fear you feel in introducing her to your current boyfriend and his nice suburban house is imminent. Remember, it’s not your fault his color of choice is cream and the guest room smells funny. Tell her the pot is stashed in the small basket of papers by the kitchen table. It can make the cream more…creamy.
4. Be prepared that she might want to steal back the things she gave you when she left. Either…hide them. Or tell her the truth, that you need them as a memento and that you WILL hang those vintage lamps in the new house once you convince your boyfriend to paint it with color. Just hide them.
5. You have to convince yourself that the 5 hour drive is worth it. Even if you are scared your boyfriend will decide to leave you while your gone. And you might arrive only to sleep on the floor of her newly- married -cousin’s mother’s hotel room. And you might get stuck being the DDI (Designated Driver to the Irresponsible) all over again while she sleeps off a hangover on the ride back. But it’s worth it.
6. Don’t gamble the $120. You’ll need it for gas and food and she will inevitably attempt to convince you otherwise with that coy little smirk and you will be very tempted to say Fuck it and out you will be of any return gas fare. But you two always manage to get help when desperate so….what the fuck gamble the money.
7. You will undoubtedly smile more, laugh more, carry-on like schoolgirls, and try and take over Los Angeles with your team of coolness. Remember that it is only temporary and that you are still un-cool.
8. You will try to convince her to take back the stuff she left with you to HOLD, independent of the stuff she left you to HAVE, and she will most likely find a reason why she can’t take it at the moment and you will be stuck with a giant box of shit in your studio for another 2 1/2 years.
9. She will be subtly self-aware of her body and it’s recently- gained- since- moved Oregon poundage and as a good friend you tell her that’s what she gets for working as a cookie baker in winter in Oregon. Oh and that she is totally beautiful and to shut up.
10. Although you are secretly waiting for this best of friends to kidnap you…she is here for a visit. She will see other friends. She will leave in two weeks. She will tell you she loves you and …she will still be the best of friends even after she leaves.
And you will need to figure out your own shit.
Ah. The joys of friendship. Can’t wait to read about my newly acquired poundage from being in Oregon as well. Might be in LA for a job in late June. Can’t wait to see you.